goddamn reality

here in perfect silence
this pretty glimpse of memory
now fading
now gone
here in blessed focus
this iron noose of world remains
pulls me
brings me back

questions

what will be my epitaph
where should we retire
where will all my money go when I die off

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do I really like my job
is this car big enough
would we happier if we had one more child

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is this the career for me
could I go back to school
can this woman make me a happy man

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where will I settle down
when will I find a job
is this degree I’ve got really worth a damn

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am I being immature
is sex all that I’m looking for
how no one is understanding me

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should I stay in classrooms
will I ask her out tonight
will I get that part-time work this summer

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where shall I say life’s going
what should I be living for
is there a god who’s watching out for me

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where can I sleep tonight
what will I eat tonight
where can I wash my face and change my socks