i will die tonight

I will die tonight
here, tonight, I will die
I will cease to live
my heart will lub its last dub
pulse blood one last time
feel my last tinge of pain
see my last flash of colour
I will die, here in my room
the room where I read my first book
over two decades ago
how and why will I die
the how:
I will die of a broken heart
my left atrium burst when my
ray of sun had eyes for another
my left ventricle cracked, collapsed
when lips soiled the peaches
my right atrium split when
the moon shone over prairies
my right ventricle shot at the moment
tangerines came to bloom in the garden
so yes, I will die tonight
I didn’t know it would end
this way
if I had
I don’t know
I would have improved
I am dead – or will be
many reasons
I’ve killed a man
that’s right
I rammed my fist
into his face and pushed
his nose into his brain
he was bleeding
on the floor
but he still didn’t die
he carried a gun
I slipped it from his belt
and shot him in the throat
then he died
(the end is near,
but not as near as you hope)
I hid the body in
the creek
two days later
the police took it away
tagged it and burned it
they investigated nothing
oh yeah, and I also said
“Fuck the world, and
fuck everything”
and so,
I will die

Published by bernardsbarnes

Writer. Artist. Performer. A little boy dreaming of the stars.

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