happy for her

she is so happy, elated with the secret joy of soft words
and delicate kisses shared in dark, warm private hours
the high laughter of un-aired jokes, promises of kindness and fidelity
O the precarious tight rope of newborn romance
she likes him and loves me, wants me to like him and love their joy
and I try
I smile, congratulate, raise cheers to their happiness
while my stomach turns, wanting to cover them with acid
to dissolve their affection with bitterness
she is my friend and I wish her happiness
but lacking my own, her happiness becomes gloating
a sneering face, standing above my isolate depression
and laughing

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