tomorrow, I’m going to turn over a new leaf

can’t find it right this minute, but I am

come again? Where’s the leaf? Why would you ask that?

I’m turning it over tomorrow, not tonight

who gives a shit where it is, I’ll find it in the morning

what? You want to see it? Right now?

Well, fine! You want to see it? I’ll show it to you!

Fuck. Where is it?

no, I know it’s here somewhere

I know it’s here because I was looking at it earlier

I saw it and I said to myself,

I’m turning that motherfucker over tomorrow”

shit, where is that damn leaf?

no, I’ll find it!

okay, shut up, shut up, shut up – I’ll tell you what

I’ll find it in the morning

I’m telling you, in the morning I am going

to find that leaf

and I am going to turn it right the fuck over!

now shut up and go back to sleep


getting what we don’t want


barmaid asks me what I want tonight

it takes every ounce of energy

not to ask her for what I really want

she gives what I didn’t really want

I pay her for things I didn’t really want

but asked for anyways

she wants something as well

but she will never ask me for it

and so we both go home alone


stiff upper

slap me
yeah, I like it, now slap me harder
that’s nice, now choke me
oh yes, I like that, now punch me
no, harder
ow! Okay, not that hard
ow!! Okay, that hurt, you can stop
ow!! Alright, that’s enough
stop punching me

exclamation mark

romance in the modern age
woman on top with bloody knuckles
man on bottom out cold with broken jaw
maybe I’m just an old softy